Where do I even start with this? I guess first I'll explain our living situation: My husband is in the Army and we are stationed at Utah Dugway Proving Grounds which is basically in the middle of the west desert an hour from the nearest hospital. To get to this hospital you leave base and besides the wide open desert and lots of sagebrush there is nothing but a mountain pass to go through where there is absolutely no cell reception whatsoever.
Having a fast 7 hour delivery with my first son, I expected our second son to have a short delivery as well. I had packed everything that we would possibly need in case of a roadside delivery in our car. We had extensive conversations with our doctor about what to do and how to go about delivering in a car or at home on our own if we didn't have a chance to get to the hospital.
At this time Jonny (my husband) was working a pretty crazy work schedule where they had him out at a high security location about 2 hours from home working 30 hour shifts, then he would come home for 18 hours and go back for 30 etc. When our doctor heard of this she wrote an official doctor's note strongly advising the army to temporarily let Jonny work closer to base until I had the baby. Lucky for us, my husband got the okay to fall in with headquarters so he wouldn't be more than 5 minutes away if anything happened. I had been having lots of prodromal labor for about 2 months, never knowing if my contractions were going to stop or send me into labor.
At my 39 week appointment my doctor checked my cervix - I was 70% effaced and dilated to about a 4. She explained that because of the cervical check I may have some light spotting and it may trigger some Braxton Hicks contractions. I did experience this in the car on the way home, but the contractions weren't too strong and eventually subsided. Next we went to the chiropractor who I had been seeing monthly throughout the pregnancy. I needed to have my right hip adjusted. It felt like the part of my femur that connected to my pelvis was pressing inward and it was painful. After it was adjusted I felt like it really opened up my pelvis and when I was up walking around, I could feel the baby move down.
We got home from our appointments and I had extremely strong nesting urges - I insisted that my husband help me organize some things around the house and clean out our car. I went to the bathroom between chores and had some thick bloody discharge which I now know was "bloody show". At the time, I wondered if it could be bloody show or if it was just more blood from getting the cervical check earlier that day.
After doing about half of what was on my list, I could see my husband was exhausted. We decided the rest could wait for tomorrow and got Kyler (our 4 yr old) into bed and sat to watch a movie and wind down before bed. I was having mild contractions, but could ignore them - what I couldn't ignore was the fact that we still had to get the cooler for the placenta and the car seat installed into the car. I couldn't hold still thinking about what still needed to be done before the baby got here. My sweet husband could see I was uneasy and asked me several times if I was alright. I told him we needed to at least get the car seat installed and get the cooler and all other bags into the car before I could relax. After doing that, I let him know about my mild contractions but because I had been having them for so long we didn't think much of it but decided to time them anyways - they were about 4 minutes apart at 10:30 p.m.
The contractions got more and more intense and my husband suggested we go to the hospital. I told him I needed to shower first, then if they were still getting more intense and closer together then we would go. I could see he was feeling the urge to go NOW, but I felt very relaxed and even through the intense contractions I remained very calm. In the shower the contractions got more intense and I had to brace myself against the wall several times before I could even finish washing my hair. My husband kept checking on me and let me know that he had gotten Ky dressed and was going to take him out to the car. I still wanted to brush my teeth and do my makeup, but knew I could probably only brush my teeth. Meanwhile, my husband was calling everyone on our emergency contact list, but nobody was picking up. Great. Luckily my sister Bonnie answered and told us she would meet us at the hospital in Tooele and take Ky with her. Out of the shower, before I could even get dressed I could no longer stand through the contractions. I knelt on the floor bracing my arms against the bed. I had to do this several more times before Jonny could finish getting me dressed. He helped me down the stairs and grabbed my purse and got me into the car.
It was after 11 by now and the only way I could stand the contractions was kneeling on my seat facing the back of the car leaning against the headrest. I was facing Ky and he seemed very concerned. I told him this was the night his baby brother was going to come out of mommy's tummy and not to worry - it was a very exciting thing! I was humming through the contractions now which were a minute apart. Kyler asked me what I was doing and again seemed a little worried. Not being able to think of anything but not wanting him to be worried I said "Mommy's just singing to the baby". As the contractions got more and more intense it was impossible to hold still or be silent. Ky, still half asleep says "Mommy, don't sing to the baby like that".
Jonny called the hospital to let them know we were on our way and requested a nurse who was comfortable with unmedicated birth.
We were 4 miles outside of base now and we heard a loud BOOM sound, then the car was shaking and my husband began coasting to a stop. I could see sparks out the back windshield and Ky's scared little face. My contractions didn't matter at this point. Jonny and I almost in unison started saying "It's okay, It's okay, don't worry, we're safe. It's okay."
I tried explaining the best I could that sometimes the tires on cars pop. At least that was what I
thought had happened. It was worse though. When the rubber tore away from the tire it flipped up underneath the car and severed the fuel lines. We wouldn't find this out until later though.
Jonny got out to see what the damage was. It was pitch black outside with nothing but the light from the stars and moon, and we had pulled off into some heavy sagebrush. Something was rustling in the bushes near us and not knowing if it was a pronghorn deer or coyotes, Jonny thought it would be best to get back in the car. "Who can we call? Let's start calling people." I said. Jonny promised he would get a hold of someone. He called every number he had for anyone who lived on base. Still, nobody answered!
He called 911 knowing that Dugway had its own Emergency response team and asked to be transferred to the Dugway 911 line. The woman on the line asked him where he was and he told her we were just a few miles outside of the gate. Apparently, since we weren't inside the gates of the base, it was Tooele county's jurisdiction and they would have to send an ambulance from the hospital we were trying to get to. But that would take them an HOUR to get to me! I was determined not to have this baby on the side of the road OR in an ambulance.
Still leaning against the headrest facing the back of the car, in between very intense contractions I looked through the back windshield expecting to see red and blue ambulance lights emerging from the few small orange lights that made up Dugway. Still no sign.
What was taking them so long? Jonny then put his phone on speaker mode and whispered to me "Baby, they want me to check to see if I can see the head."
"What? Um, sorry, but I promise - The head is not there yet. I would know if it was."
Jonny to the 911 operator: " She said the head isn't there yet, and I trust that she knows what is happening inside her body."
911 operator: "Okay, I understand if she won't let you check right now, but you really NEED to check her as soon as she will let you. Tell her you HAVE to look. Your wife NEEDS to let you check her NOW."
While the 911 operator was annoyingly trying to follow protocol someone pulled over and asked if we were okay. Jonny explained our situation to him and it turns out he was a sergeant EMT for Dugway's response team. He came to the car and introduced himself and tried making light conversation with me while I'm trying my HARDEST to be strong for Kyler breathing my way through contractions that were lasting a minute long and a minute apart.
"I'm sorry, I promise I'm nice in real life but I can't talk right now" I managed to puff while still breathing through a contraction.
"Okay, Marti. I understand. You're doing so great. We'll get an ambulance here soon and get you to the hospital. You're doing so good, hang in there"
Apparently in order to send an ambulance from Dugway rather than from Tooele, they had to have it approved. Luckily the proper authorities finally approved a Dugway ambulance and the 911 operator was still insisting Jonny check me for the baby's head (which I knew was NOT crowning). I flipped out a little and said the stupid 911 lady was freaking me out and to hang up on her. I wanted to watch for the ambulance lights, but didn't see when they came until they were pulling up right next to us. I was clenching my eyes through my contractions now which were still growing more intense.
With Jonny's help, I insisted I could walk to the ambulance while the EMT's were trying to figure out how to maneuver the gurney through the sagebrush to get to me. I had them prop the gurney up so I could stay in the same position I was in the car - on my knees hugging on to the back of the gurney. While Jonny and the other EMT's were getting Ky, his car seat, the hospital bags, and cooler from the car to the ambulance, I was busy focusing on my breathing.
After a contraction subsided, I opened my eyes and looked around. Jonny, Kyler, and all of the EMT's were in the ambulance. The EMT's in the front seat appeared to be looking at a clipboard and everyone in the back of the ambulance was just staring at me. I couldn't help it - "WHY aren't we moving? GO! Let's go! I am not having this baby in here. We need to be driving now!"
The EMT's in the front of the ambulance quickly put away their papers and began to drive. The EMT in the back tried to strap me to the gurney by putting one strap over my calves, and another strap over my back. That was awful! I felt like a horse with a saddle on and took it off. I told the EMT I couldn't be tied up like that and he asked if I was refusing my seat belt. I said yes.
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Me with my saddle-like seat belt on. |
He then handed me a nasal canula and asked me to put it on. "What? No. I don't need that, why would I need that?" He asked if I was refusing the oxygen and I said yes. He asked if he could check my O2 levels and I agreed and put the sensor on my finger. I was breathing at 100%. He then began assembling things for an IV and asked me which arm to use. "What? No. I don't need that. What would you even give me?" He stumbled with his words and said something about administering fluids to keep me hydrated. "No, I don't need that. It would just irritate me even more." He again asked if I was refusing an IV and again, I said yes. I know this poor guy was just following protocol, but I didn't need or want any of that. I just needed a ride so I wouldn't have to deliver my baby in the middle of the desert.
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I wasn't thrilled about pictures of this initially, but I'm glad now that Jonny took a few. |
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Kyler looking a little unsure of what was happening. |
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I was facing Ky in the ambulance. Poor little boy was strapped in and had to watch me head-on! |
Jonny handed me some Lavender essential oil and I put a drop on the gurney in front of me so I could smell it, and I put some behind my ears and on my wrists to help me focus and stay calm. This did help a little bit.
Another contraction came on and I asked Jonny to do "the hip thing" which is counter pressure on my hips throughout the contraction. He jumped up and did it and it felt amazing. If I had to describe it, I'd say it took about 20% of the pain away.
We were going through the mountain pass now which twists and turns and could make anyone nauseous. I clutched on to the back of the gurney and my sweet husband somehow managed to stay standing to apply counter pressure to my hips throughout the whole ambulance ride. I didn't want him to let go. The pain was becoming unbearable and I began doubting my ability to do this without any medication.
My sweet Jonny was doing everything so perfectly to support me and was trying everything from our Bradley Method Classes we had taken. I had to be frank and let him know at one point that light touch massage just wasn't doing it for me at this point and I really just needed the hip counter pressure thing.
The EMT was timing my contractions. I would tell him when they started and when they would subside. Before we got to the hospital it got to the point where they didn't seem to subside at all. It was just constant waves of extremely painful to painful.
The ambulance air conditioning was on as cool and high as it would go, but I felt like I was going to burn up. It seemed so hot in there! I was also extremely thirsty and my mouth was very dry. I mentioned being thirsty, but they didn't have any water to give to me.
The ambulance made a sharp turn and not being able to see outside or anticipate such turns, I grasped for something to hold on to - which happened to be the back of the gurney. I didn't know there was a lever back there, and I pressed it. The gurney which was raised up SLAMMED to the ground and I probably said every swear word imaginable before asking what the *Bleep* had just happened. The poor EMT explained the lever and apologized for not warning me about it. I said it was okay but to just hurry and fix it. (I promise I really am much nicer when I'm not in active labor!)
After that happened I was really having a hard time staying calm through the contractions. I felt like they owned me now. I couldn't seem to get control again with all of the stress around me. "Just relax, Baby." Jonny said trying to be helpful. "I know! I'm trying but this is the most stressful shit I could imagine!" (my husband deserves a medal for being so understanding and actively supportive).
Jonny asked the EMT who was in the back with us if he had ever delivered a baby before. He looked like a scared baby deer in headlights and managed to stammer "Um, my own". I knew that probably meant he had seen his own kids born, but probably hadn't actually delivered them. I didn't care about his experience though, because I knew and trusted my body enough that I could deliver this baby on my own if I had to. I just felt bad for this guy who was trying to do his job, but got trapped in the back of an ambulance with me. I was acting like a momma bear woken up early from her hibernation.
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The unfortunate EMT who got stuck riding in the back with me. These pictures are blurry, but are the only ones we have. Its hard to focus a cell phone camera in the back of a moving ambulance. |
Several times throughout the ambulance ride I was asked if I had the urge to push. By now I did start feeling pushing urges, but it wasn't the kind of urge I had with my first birth where the urge was so strong I couldn't stand to not push. I knew we would be to the hospital very soon and absolutely did not want this sweet baby to come into the world in a cold bright stressful ambulance. - And I especially didn't want Ky to witness it in such a stressful environment! Jonny was great to reassure Kyler when he would ask questions and seemed very worried about me. The EMT gave him a stuffed animal and he seemed content after that.
I lied the next few times they asked me if I needed to push and said I didn't. My mom who had 5 unmedicated births had told me that the contractions were the worst part and that pushing actually felt good. She described it as being a relief from the contractions. So, with my next contraction I decided to do a little test push. My water broke and a huge gush of fluid saturated my clothes, the gurney, and began splattering on the metal floor of the ambulance. Jonny, who was still applying counter pressure started saying "Something just happened. SOMETHING.. just... happened". With his hands still on my hips, he described it as holding a giant water balloon while it filled up until it burst.
I could hear the EMT's discussing stop lights and they all agreed to slow down but not stop for red.
I confessed now that I probably did feel the urge to push just a little. They told me they had to check for the head. I knew it wasn't there, but had no shred of dignity or the energy to fight left. I told them it wasn't there, but they could check if they needed reassurance. They peeled down my wet yoga pants and of course, no head yet so they put my pants back.
We pulled up at the hospital at 1:56 a.m. and I told Jonny to get Ky to Bonnie then to come find me. As they wheeled the gurney into the hospital there were several spectators outside but I didn't care. My doctor and sister were waiting in the hallway by the nurse's station and waved excitedly at me. I didn't have the energy to wave back but tried to manage a smile. I was so relieved to see them and their warm beautiful smiles.
My elbows and knees felt very weak and I was tired from clinging on to the gurney throughout the ambulance ride, but I couldn't tolerate any other position. As we were entering the birthing room, all I was able to say during a contraction was "I'm keeping the placenta" and one of the nurse's assistants went to get a container for it.
We waited for the contraction to subside so I could move from the gurney to the bed in the same position on my knees facing the back of the bed that was raised up.
The intensity of the contraction became unbearable and I said "Somebody do the hip thing that my husband does!" My doctor didn't hesitate and jumped right up on the bed with me and began applying counter pressure with me still wearing my soaking wet clothes. I was so glad she was there! As the contraction subsided, she asked if she could check my cervix and helped me peel my wet pants off. "Okay, are you ready to push?"
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Dr. Lazernick on the left, and the nurses who helped with the delivery. |
"I need my husband" was all I managed to say, and one of the ladies ran out into the hall to find him. He came in almost immediately and asked me what essential oils to get out. I told him there wasn't time and I needed to push. He took over hip counter pressure duty and the doctor told me that when the baby was delivered she would pass him up through my legs and I could grab him and hold him against my chest.
With the next contraction everyone cheered "Okay, PUSH!"
I took a deep breath and pushed expecting the huge relief that my mom had described and was disappointed when I didn't feel it. It still HURT.
"Oh wow! Yes, keep pushing! PUSH!"
"I can't"
"Yes you can! You're doing so good. He's almost here!"
I didn't say this out loud, but I thought in my head
I know I CAN keep pushing, but I WON'T. It doesn't feel right.
With the next contraction I listened to my body and pushed again until my body had had enough, then I stopped.
The nurses and assistants were still cheering me on to keep pushing as hard as I could, but I tuned them out. I knew they could see the progress and were excited that he was coming so fast, but they couldn't feel what I was feeling in my body. I just mentally went within myself and communicated with my body and the baby. We were a team. The other people in the room were physically present, but I didn't allow their cheering into my mental state. It was just me, my body, and the baby. That's all that mattered, and we were working together.
I pushed again with each contraction as much as my body would allow. My doctor was using a warm compress on my perineum and it helped quite a bit, but it still hurt. I was a little scared. I wanted to call a time-out and take a break. I wanted to go to sleep and finish this in the morning, but knew I couldn't. I think a few times I said "I can't believe this is happening" out loud along with a few swear words.
One of the assistants fed me an ice chip on a spoon. My mouth was so dry I felt like the ice cube was taking forever to melt. Another intense contraction came and I had to swallow the ice whole to keep from choking on it. She offered me more, but I declined saying "It was too much work". I needed to focus on pushing.
"Martha, you can reach down and feel for your baby's head now if you want to" My doctor invited.
I did want to. I tried to move my right arm from the bed I was clinging so tightly to, but I was so weak. I wouldn't have been able to keep my position. I would have collapsed, so I still held tightly to the head of the bed.
The baby was almost out and I knew it. My tailbone was hurting SO bad. I was able to stop when the pain of pushing became too much at first, but now my body was telling me that even though it hurt, I
needed to keep pushing. I didn't want to, but knew I needed to. I took in a deep breath and pushed hard right into the pain and ended up screaming then yelling "My tailbone!" along with some more bad words. "Say whatever you need to if it helps you feel better" my doctor very calmly told me.
I hope I'm not offending anyone, but this really #*^@#%$ hurts I thought to myself. I remembered my first birth and my mom smiling sympathetically at the sound of another woman screaming in the next room. Now I was the screaming woman. I did find humor in this, but was too busy with controlling my breathing to laugh or even smile.
"Yes! Keep pushing! You're almost done!"
My doctor invited me again to reach down and feel the baby crowning. I really wanted to, but was still too weak. I knew he would be in my arms soon. Another contraction came and my cheering squad kept telling me what I knew I needed to do. "I know I need to, but it feels like I'm ripping in half!" I said.
"This is the ring of fire. You're so close to being done now!" My doctor reassured me.
Alright, lets do this. I took another deep breath and pushed. His head was out and I could hear my husband gasp "Oh my gosh!"
It burned like fire and I knew I still had to keep pushing. "I need the warm thing!" I said (meaning the warm compress she had been holding on my perineum). My doctor told me she was still holding it there but the baby's head was out. Another contraction, another deep breath and I pushed HARD. I could feel his warm body slip the rest of the way out and my doctor passed him up to me.
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Sweet baby Jet, just minutes old. |
Jonny leaned in and gave me the biggest kiss. We exchanged "I love you's" and both stared at our new baby boy. He was beautiful and perfect, just like I knew he would be. I was still wearing my shirt and was struggling to get it off and to undo my bra. The nurse's assistant was trying to help me, but we weren't getting anywhere. She helped me support the baby against my belly while I took my shirt and bra off all at the same time.
The baby didn't even cry but was breathing, and alert. I put a drop of frankincense essential oil on my finger and held it near his nose so he could smell it. He opened his eyes and looked right at me! I then rubbed it on the crown of his head and the bottoms of his feet. Next, I put a drop of Myrrh essential oil on my finger and rubbed it on his tummy around the umbilical cord. We tried nursing and he latched right on. I was so entranced with him, I barely noticed anyone else in the room. I over heard the doctor showing Jonny the umbilical cord saying "See how full it is? I'm not going to clamp it yet." When the cord stopped pulsating she again showed it to Jonny and clamped it then had him cut it.
The doctor then examined me for tears, and there weren't any. With my first birth I had pushed as I was instructed and ended up tearing with a smaller baby. Listening to my body rather than the people coaching me to push made a huge difference!
I delivered the placenta, drank some coconut water, and was up and walking around. I got cleaned up a little just in time for the baby's bath.
We declined vaccinations, eye goop, and the vitamin K injection for the baby and we bathed him ourselves after they weighed him. I had estimated he would be about 7 lbs. He came into the world at 2:22 a.m. weighing 6 lbs 14 oz. and was 20 inches long.
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Jonny introducing Kyler to his new baby brother |
We did it. Our sweet baby Jet was finally here!
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Jet with Daddy |